#98: In the Palm of Your Hands

The Lord delights in you. The Lord who created the universe, who knows all and sees all, delights in your existence. Both powerful and personable, God is for you and wants you to know that. You may feel God is distant, or doesn't exist at all. Or you may feel that God is disappointed in you because of something you've done or failed to do. But God does not count your shortcomings against you. He delights in you and want's you to share in the joy that was made for you to partake in. To know God is to know His son Jesus who came to this place so that you can know God without any inhibition.

The Last Supper by Da Vinci

In the palm of your hands

The oceans were made

By your outstretched hands

The heavens were laid

Through your nail pierced hands

My sins are paid

From your guiding hands

You lead me to your grace

So what is this love?

Who is this God?

This is perfect love

You are my God

From your thunderous voice

You lit up the sky

By your mighty voice

You let the birds to fly

Through your tender voice

You respond to my cry

In your compassionate voice

Your son came down to die

#97: Will you marry me?

What a fantastic day! While in Espresso Cielo, the coffee shop that we first met in exactly nine months ago, I had the privilege of proposing to the love of my life, Kelly Joiner. I gave her a box of poems and encouragement notes written by her family and friends. Included in the box was the below  acrostic.

What is the meaning of life in this land?
Is it to love and live as best we can?
Lo and behold, it is so much more,
Love is the root of us at our core.

You understand what the Lord has conceived
On embracing how love must first be received
Under God’s word, you live what you believe

My very best, I choose to give to you
All of my life, from now till it is through
Reflecting on that which could not be greater
Redeemed by a grace given by our creator
You demonstrate how great love can be

My love, may I ask, “Will you marry me?”
Enter in to a union of matrimony?

The poem

She said "Yes!"

#96: The Breaking Point

If you embrace God's grace, you do not need to fear judgment. I tell myself this all the time, but I have trouble believing it. 

I recently found myself depressed but was struggling with understanding why. For all intents and purposes, I am very content with things. I have an amazing girlfriend, a steady job that I enjoy, great friends, an awesome family. I struggled through it with my girlfriend and she prayed this for me, "that if this depression is from the devil, that it be cast out, and if this depression is from God, that it's purpose be understood." 

She then let me borrow a book by Henri Nouwen called The Inner Voice of Love. In it, there was this line, "Your many human needs for affection, attention, and consolation are living apart from your divine sacred space. your call is to let these two parts of yourself come together again."

That line was an epiphany for me. That is where God was speaking to me, reminding me not to let the blessings of God take the place in my soul that is fulfilled by God Himself. 

You look in my eyes

And my eyes dart away

I’m afraid you’ll see inside

Afraid you’ll see my pain

So I hide, or I run away

Looking for an escape

I want to be on my own

But I can’t live my life alone

As the tears fall on my face

Please let the rain wash them away

Then you won’t see my heart ache

Everything will seem okay

But you are the knight that can pierce the dark

And fill this hole inside my heart

And you are the radiant prince

The chosen one who’ll cleanse my sins

So please set me free

Please sanctify me

Please win this war

For my soul needs you more and more

#95: The Other Side of Sorrow

Loss is a certainty and grief is an inevitability. That is a consequence of loving people deeply. But it is worth it. It is worth it to make deep connections and to love and care for your friends. It is worth it to love and allow yourself to be loved. Loss is meaningful and painful when life is full of meaning and love. 

At Eternity's Gate by Vincent Van Gogh

On loving someone my very best… I will behest

A reprieve from her eternal rest

A lost love will forever bequeath… such bountiful grief

Its melancholy mood won’t ever be brief.

Of the grand feeling of love so sure… pain will endure

But that is proof it ever so pure

The sun will arise each bright new day… as memories decay

The pain of loss moves farther away.

But genuine love will often bestow… misery only love can know

From there a river of tears will flow

Of life so meaningful and hallowed… the one I followed

At her deaths end I weep and wallow.

As grief is a pain from time we borrow

But still, the other side of sorrow… is tomorrow

#94: Hope

It looks like I’ve stumbled into an unknown land
Where liars prevail and crookedness stands
I’ve fallen for the scent of material things
Though my spirit and soul are immaterial beings
This is the part of me they say to ignore
For it will leave me searching and wanting more
For the things that I desire are the things that I see
And if I work hard enough these things will be for me
As if my contentment could be found in my gains
These material things could be washed by the rains
My situation will grow from bad to worse
As I recount my life, every line every verse.
For the moment I die, I’m back where I started
From this material world, my soul hath departed
My body is buried and my treasure is rusted
My soul and my spirit found no one to trust in
But before that moment of separation comes
Contemplate the hope of the redeeming one
For hope crawls to the place where your soul is buried
It carries your spirit though it is heavy and weary
For your soul and your body united can shine
And the empty materialism will be left behind
And when your body fades into the ground
Your soul and your spirit are heavenly bound
For hope and love are the songs we sing
Of a land forthcoming, of mysterious things

Faith, Hope & Charity by George Frederic Watts