Sacred Spaces

 

Sacred Spaces

I walked by the fire pit today

And I was remembering you there

Bouncing a ball

Melting my heart with your smile

Enjoying the sun

Pointing out the birds

And the "happycopter" flying above

You'd walk around and touch all the sprinklers and lights

I miss us being together

I kissed my fingers and then touched where you once sat

It is now a sacred space

I see sacred spaces everywhere

Love you Julia

Greatest Comfort

Greatest Comfort

You hated when we left for church

I could see a twinge of dread in your face

We dressed up nice

That's when you knew

But you couldn't stop it

We were going to church

The church nursery

I could feel your nerves

You cringed to my arms

"No...no...no..." you said

Not yelling, more like pleading

Your greatest comfort was mama and daddy

I would set you down

Your grip turned tighter

I wiggled you down to the ground

You wrapped your arms around my legs

Your eyes said, "Don't leave!"

Your heart sunk as I walked away

I hate the moment when you left this world

Dread fills my face at the mere though

We'll dress up nice

To say our last goodbye

I couldn't save you

You have gone to heaven

I grieve now

I am a ball of nerves

I cling to your memory

"No...no...no..." I say

Not yelling, more like pleading

My greatest joy was your smiling face

You used to cling to me at church

Your greatest comfort was mama and daddy

Yet there is one greater comfort

Jesus is the greatest comforter

Greater than mama and daddy combined

Cling to him as we cling to him

Double Dose of Grief

 

Double Dose of Grief

Yesterday the second hammer fell. Not pregnant. Don't know how to take the news, it sapped away the little hope we had for our future days. We were preparing to be a family of four but it's just the two of us now. The pit of grief goes deeper than we had thought. Kelly and I cried a good while yesterday, cried to God that we have nothing. Grieving hard. We appreciate the outpouring of love as we continue through this. Praying for comfort like when Julia had her bunny.

Julia loved her bunny. It was what she slept with every night. When we spent the day at her grandparents, they had a second bunny (known as Other Bunny) so she could have the same comfort there. On many occasions Julia brought bunny to the grandparents house which created the ultimate comfort, Double Bunny! Lord praying for the Double Bunny comfort. 

The Other Side of Sorrow

 

I wrote this years ago, I don't recall why or for whom. But God gave me words of comfort then, to help me grieve now.

The Other Side of Sorrow

On loving someone my very best...I will behest

A reprieve from her eternal rest

A lost love will forever bequeath...such bountiful grief

Its melancholy mood won't ever be brief.

Of the grand feeling of love so sure...pain will endure

But that is proof it was ever so pure

The sun will arise each bright new day...as memories decay

The pain of loss moves further away.

But genuine love will often bestow...misery only love can know

From there a river of tears will flow

Of life so meaningful and hallowed...this love I followed

At her deaths end I weep and wallow.

Grief is a pain from time we borrow

But still, the other side of sorrow....is tomorrow 

Grief

 

Our sweet 19-month-old daughter, Julia Marie Aalseth, passed away suddenly on Mother's Day. I have written many poems over the last couple weeks on note pads and I will publish some here to have them all in one place. 

Grief

I don't know what grief is, but whatever it is, it's 

everywhere

I miss you baby girl

I see you in the car, I see you in our home, I see you 

on the slide, I see you in the bath tub

You are everywhere my love

I miss you so much

Your smile

I see everywhere

I see you dancing

I see you swimming

I see you laughing 

I see you learning

Every day with you

Was a gift, a blessing

I miss you Julia, you helped me live the best life

Thank you, Love you.

#111: The Wolf in Shepherds Clothing

A poem to reflect — specifically on the personhood of Jesus and if my understanding of who Jesus is aligns with the actuality of Jesus. For if I am blind to the injustice in this world then I am blind to who he truly is.

You go to church to worship

To a Jesus you trust as savior

You sing and dance and bless the Lord

You love that your Jesus is for you

You love your neighbor (your white neighbor)

You love your family (your white family)

Because the Jesus you perceive...

Blessed you

But the Jesus you perceive

Is not the shepherd of the Word

He is not of the God who created all things

He is not the God who Loves Justice and Mercy

The Jesus you perceive is deceiving you

The Jesus you perceive is a wolf

Dressed as your shepherd

He has deceived you into thinking 

that your life matters, 

but black lives don’t

He deceived you into thinking

That your culture

Is God’s chosen culture

He has deceived you 

into turning a blind eye 

to the hatred that surrounds you 

and maybe consumes you

You do nothing 

cause you’re blessed

You do nothing 

because you are saved

But the Jesus you follow is a false God

And your fruit bears it

And if your salvation is based on a falsehood

Then no part of you is saved

#109: A Sunday Lynching

R.I.P. Ahmaud Arbery 

Ear buds check,

Keys check,

Nike’s check,

Off through my neighborhood

To get my heart and lungs going

I jog almost every day

To feel my blood flowing

It’s a Sunday afternoon 

The weather is nice

I step out the front door

Turn on my Fitbit device

I wave to the neighbors

Why they wave their gun?

I’m just on a run

Out in the daylight sun

I breathe in 

The sweet air of the free

Next thing I see

A white truck’s chasing me

It pulls in front

So I change my course

The two men decide to use excessive force

A man jumps out

He grabs my shirt

I’m on high alert as he shoved me to the dirt

Two guns pointed 

Right at my chest

I’m unarmed and no bulletproof vest

I lunge for his piece

They open fire

I fall to the ground

My life’s about to expire

The pain is sharp

I see my blood flowing

My hearts pumping fast

I feel my lungs going

My last thought

As I cease to exist

They’ll get away 

With a case dismissed

Dead on the street 

Though with no provocation

“Stand your ground” 

Their defensive proclamation

I lament the racism that prevails today in the United States.