#106: Glass House Part 2

When I wrote Glass House, I realized it was incomplete. While attempting to recognize the social constructs and moral understandings that create the Glass House for a person exploring Christianity from an LGBTQ lens, I am learning that there are no quick answers or simple solutions. The Glass House is there and it reminds the LGBTQ of the rejection they face from Christian communities. Although Christians can make a moral stand in regards to sexuality, should it be at the expense of reaching someone who is genuinely seeking God?

You see me
You want me to know
Of your Jesus
You want me to love
Like you love
But I don't

You see me
In this Glass house
You hear me
You judge me
But you can't reach me

I cry to you
But you reject me
I ask for help
But you hate me

I am a sinner
Just like you
Can I be forgiven?

I am a beautiful soul
If you look at me you’ll see it

Please shatter this reality

#105: Remember...

My wife Kelly has been at UCLA since 2005. First as a student, then as staff with InterVarsity. At the end of the fall quarter of 2017 she will be transitioning out of UCLA. This past spring, during one of her last retreats with the UCLA students I wrote Kelly a poem of reflection. The poem is written on the left side of a sheet of paper, and on the right side, Kelly will have the chance to write down names and memories of her time at UCLA. 

While visiting the retreat, I thought it would be romantic to sneak the poem in to her bag or put it somewhere where she would definitely see it the following morning. Before arriving that evening to the retreat, Kelly asked me to pick up some Tiger Balm for her. I decided to fold up the poem and hide it in the Tiger Balm box, thinking that when she opened it that night, she would see the poem. 

Sadly, as I handed her the Tiger Balm, she opened it as we were saying goodbye and proceeded to crumple up the box to throw it away. I very smoothly grabbed the box and told her to look inside. She probably thought it was jewelry or something, but no, it was a newly crumpled piece of paper. Thankfully, it wasn't completely trashed and she was able to read it later that night. 

I wanted to give Kelly the chance to reflect on her time at UCLA and on all that the Lord has done.
Ministry is so difficult, and college ministry has its own unique challenges. It's easy to get wrapped up in the day to day, but every once in awhile, it is good to look back and remember all that has been accomplished and all that the Lord will continue to do. 

Kelly Aalseth presenting a timeline of UCLA at Intervarsity

As you remember the things
the Lord has done,
The work in their hearts
that has only begun.

Remember the small moments
that make you smile,
Remember the times
you went the extra mile

Remember the tears
you shared with friends,
Remember the sin
that the Lord has cleansed.

Remember those
that helped push you along,
Remember those
that said you belong.

Remember the times
you stumbled and fell,
Remember the grace
that saves from hell.

Remember those
that taught you God's word,
Remember for whom
the Gospel was heard.

Remember the pain
and brokenness compiled,
and the way God moves
so we can be reconciled.

Remember the joy,
Remember the fun,
Remember the good times
with everyone.

Lastly remember
What God starts He finishes,
And that of the eternal
never diminishes.

#104: Po Po

True character and heart are not revealed by action, but by age. When someone advances in age, we see who they really are. 

For my Po Po (grandma), she emanated joy to her last day. She was always sharp as a tack and always interested to know how my life was going. The last time I saw her, although weak, she beamed with joy and was so grateful to get to see Kelly and myself as we returned from our honeymoon. She said to us, "I am so happy that you two are in love, and I'm so happy that you are happy!" 

Truly a special lady whose character and heart of joy were true to her last day. 

Thank you for all the wonderful memories Po Po. 

There is no greater blessing

Than to be loved

By family, by friends

By God up above

This is for my Po Po

From all of us who’ve known

That sweet and generous heart

And all the love she’s shown

Her spirited and boisterous laugh

Her smile from ear to ear

For from within her heart

Came a joy so perfectly clear

Always so delightful

She spoke with such sincerity

The sweetest sounding words

With purpose and with clarity

Always so bright and cheerful

With a sharp intelligence

She knew to live life fully

To embrace the present tense

Po Po you loved us well

There is no greater blessing

We remember you so fondly

As you make your final resting

#103: Age of Missed Information

Have you ever seen this picture before? It's of Nihar Janga clapping in the face of Jairam Hathwar after Jairam just misspelled a word at the 2016 Scripps National Spelling Bee.

What is your initial reaction when you see this picture?

For me, I was pissed that this kid would show such poor sportsmanship. I shook my head in disappointment and faux rage at an internet meme. "Oh unjust world, how could this kid get away with such rotten behavior," I thought to myself as I stewed in anger over a picture that contained no context.

I wanted to know more so I looked up articles on the 2016 Spelling Bee in hopes of better understanding young Nihar and his ultra-competitive instincts. As I delved deeper into the story, I found that the meme misrepresented the truth. My opinion of Nihar as a poor sport was wrong. Yes, opinions can be wrong. Especially when you don't know the full story

Here's how the spelling bee went down. Jairam and Nihar were locked in a battle of wits. Jairam stepped up to the mic and was given the word Drahthaar. With the championship on the line, Jairam misspelled the word. Defeated, he went to his seat. Nihar would now have a chance at winning the championship if he spells his next word correctly. But as Jairam sits down next to Nihar, Nihar is clapping along with the crowd for the solid effort by Jairam. He then turns to Jairam and claps in his face but the clapping is not meant as disrespect towards an opponent, but as encouragement to a friend. You see, Jairam and Nihar had gotten to know each other over the past year and became close friends.

After the contest Nihar said this in response to Jairam’s miss. "I wanted to win, but at the same time I felt really bad for Jairam."

I had Nihar pegged all wrong. Although he displayed an entertaining flare at the event, he was by no means, a poor sport. It turned out that Nihar would miss his next word as well and the competition would end in a tie with both Jairam and Nihar being named champions.

So what did I learn in this endeavor? That internet memes and headlines are not enough to form a valid opinion. In a world of hot takes and breaking news, do not be quick to judge because there's more to the story then the headline.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvkUCzHRo2I

You awaken from your slumber
And see headlines of the day
Of this and that, and that and this
So many things at play

You glance over each story
And formulate your thoughts
But this type of opinion forming
Is much like casting lots

Dig in past the surface
And investigate the news
Learn to think with a critical mind
To better support your views

#102: A Refugees Decision

If a refugee comes to the United States, it is not only an opportunity for them, but an opportunity for us. It gives us the chance to love and care for that refugee, to welcome them, and to provide a confirmation to their hope. It is a chance for us to show what make's America great in the first place.

The refugee comes here with high hopes and in desperate need. Furthermore, a child refugee is the most impressionable of people. If they are welcomed here, they can become a part of our country and make a lasting contribution.

Two questions must then be posed. If not here, where then will the child go? And what will the child become? If they go back to their war torn home, they may become the very terrorists we fear. Our national security is not improved if we are creating more enemies.

He came to my porch with a gift

He knocked but there was no answer

He came from a violent land

He came for a helping hand

I didn't want to talk to a stranger

I didn't want to know who he was

I dared not answer the door

For I feared what he was here for

He went back to his old home

Impressionable but with no hope

They took him in the darkest of night

They taught him to hate and to fight

This boy who once had a future

Standing again at my door

He didn't knock this time around

He busted the front door down

I looked him straight in his eyes
Now hatred was all I could see
But if I had let him in earlier
What type of man could he be?

#101: An Adventure Begins

In January of 2015 I started this poetry blog with a goal of sharing 100 poems over the course of 100 weeks. Some weeks I couldn't wait to share a specific poem, whiles others were a bit more challenging. All in all, I had a blast putting together each blog post.

On Christmas Day 2015, right smack in the middle of this Poetry Project, I decided to sign up on E-harmony. I didn't know what to expect with dating online, but I was both nervous and excited.

Toward the end of January 2016, I stumbled upon the profile of Kelly Joiner. One of the things we immediately connected with was our love of writing and poetry. I was smitten by Kelly's ability to write about her life and her struggles in an honest manner. She wasn't and still isn't afraid to share her struggles but in a way that isn't self deprecating or as a plea for pity. Before we even met in person for the first time, we shared some of our poetry to each other and that helped forge a solid connection

It has almost been one year since I first met this amazing woman and now we are planning our wedding. A lot can happen in one year. What a blessing this adventure has been so far. 

We've come to the foot of the trail

You and me together

We see our life ahead

For the worse and for the better

I see the path but only so far

I see the mountains that we'll climb

I see the streams, the trees

The scenery so fine

We found each other along the path

And love would soon arise

I never saw such a pure heart

Until I looked in to your eyes

And though I'm far from perfect

You help me to find

The goodness hidden in me

Of holiness intertwined

You have all your baggage 

And me I have all of mine

But from here we'll go hand in hand

Until the end of time