My cousin Erin passed away after a fight with cancer yesterday. When I was a little kid living in San Jose, my family would often make the trip to visit aunt Karen and Uncle Thor in Mountain View. They are two of the most fun-loving people on the planet. One of the highlights growing up was watching aunt Karen and my mom fight over the check for who would pay for dinner when we ate out. It was literally a battle of two very strong willed people who were very close. I don't remember who won those battles over the check more often, but it was always hilarious to watch.
Their kids Erin, Jason, and Nicole were about the same age as my brother and I. Erin and Jason were a little older and Nicole was my age and they always knew how to have fun. Whether we were playing hide and seek, or Super NES, it was a very innocent and joyful time. When I got a little older, my family moved down to Orange County so we didn't get to see them as often, but the memories of those times will always be warm and happy.
About a year ago, I got to see Erin during a family get together and her joy was ever present, despite the battle with cancer. She really was a woman full of joy and that will be a lasting memory.
Grief is always hard because of the inherent circumstances but the blessings that arise from times of mourning are numerous and important. Memories we have grow fonder in times of mourning. Treasured moments increase in value. The pain of loss is soothed by the warm memories made warmer by our time of reflection. Reality can bite pretty hard in these moments but I find people tend to love harder as a result.
Here is a poem I wrote a while ago about mourning. It was written in the eyes of a husband mourning the loss of his wife but it seems to work universally. Prayers go out to my aunt Karen and Uncle Thor, Jason, and Nicole as the mourn the loss of a loved one.
The other side of sorrow
On loving someone my very best… I will behest
A reprieve from her eternal rest
A lost love will forever bequeath… such bountiful grief
Its melancholy mood won’t ever be brief.
Of the grand feeling of love so sure… pain will endure
But that is proof it ever so pure
The sun will arise each bright new day… as memories decay
The pain of loss moves farther away.
But genuine love will often bestow… misery only love can know
From there a river of tears will flow
Of life so meaningful and hallowed… the one I followed
At her deaths end I weep and wallow.
But still, the other side of sorrow… is tomorrow
