Adventures with Caleb (what the little one taught me)

Caleb Aaron Aalseth, the little four year old who knows big words like "esophagus" and "onomatopoeia", loves the movie "Cars" (which I secretly have never seen), and knows the words to "life is a highway", theme song to the movie "Cars" and sings it every night while playing air guitar was down in socal with his baby sister Hannah and mother Laura. Needless to say, it was a blast getting to see them intermittently over the past couple of days. What made it even greater were the lessons taught, not by me, but by the life of a little four year old.

Lesson 1: Small adventures are big time fun!

I got to go on two little adventures with Caleb, one was in the backyard of my parents house, the other was at Laguna Beach. Now behind my parents backyard is this steep hill that spans maybe 25 yards and beyond that is a fun little trail that sprawls across the neighborhood. Caleb was playing in the yard and helping my dad with gardening when I asked him if he wanted to see whats at the top of the hill. Showing his childlike adventure, he naturally said "no" and proceeded to water things in the yard that didn't need watering, like my pants. It took a few more asks as I attempted to peak his curiosity by wondering out loud about what could possibly be up there. After half an hour of my incessant suggesting, Caleb finally relented and to my surprise, was all of the sudden very excited about climbing the hill, which brings me to lesson number 2

Lesson 2: for kids, something could be boring one moment and super exciting the next.

With some assistance from me and my friend Tim, Caleb made it to the top and saw the vast expanse of our neighborhood, along with!!!! a gutter, a really big gutter that we walked through. We trudged up and down some really steep hills, when too steep, Caleb would grab my hand so he wouldn't fall, never once thinking that I myself could tumble at any moment. Caleb ran down the hill with complete confidence that if he fell, my hand would squeeze tighter and pull him up before the crash. This made keeping up with him difficult because I still needed to keep up with Caleb's fast little feet.

Lesson 3: child-like faith is best exemplified in children

We then continued to pass by different backyards, most of which contained vicious guard dogs (the funniest being one house with two little maltese puppies that were the antithesis of vicious, try as they might). Caleb, was pretty fearless as he trudged forward, wondering what was over the next little hill. Aside from seeing dogs, we also spotted a hawk, we heard a rabbit in the bushes, and saw some animal poop as well. We eventually turned back and I asked Caleb to lead us back home. Confident as ever Caleb said, "Okay, I have GPS on my back" and he took off running. On the steep hills, Caleb grabbed my hand just like before, on the flatter parts, he ran and ran and ran. He ran so much he ran right past our house.

Lesson 4: children have a horrible sense of direction.

It took a few minutes to convince Caleb that we actually passed the house but we eventually made it back home, washed up, and had a yummy dinner.

A couple days later, I visited the little ones at Laguna beach. It was a cloudy but warm day and the water was freezing cold. About 100 yards from our stuff was this rocky area that Caleb wanted to explore, but the tide was coming in. We didn't have much time, so we ran there as fast as we could. While running I would tell Caleb, "I'm gonna get you!" as he looked back and then would run even faster while laughing in fear. 

Lesson 5: Children show immense joy while the adrenaline is pumping from the fear of being chased by a loved one. It's the coolest thing to experience because they know they aren't in danger, but they run away like they are. (Don't chase around kids you don't know though, that will probably just scare them)

We came across the rocky area and we had to time things right to avoid the crashing waves. This lead to more excitement for Caleb and I as we frantically avoided the water while also trying to keep our balance on the wet rocks. In the rocky area we studied the area and found a seashell, two different types of sandals, and moss. After a few minutes of exploring the rocky area, Popo (grandma) came to get us because the waves were getting bigger and the tide was coming in. While on one of the rocks, Caleb was a little slow and the water came crawling up toward him and soaked his feet. Caleb giggled, and trudged on.

Lesson 6: Kids get wet often, they trip and fall often, but they are usually okay.

 As we returned to our beach area we cleaned up and got ready to head our separate ways. Before we left though, Popo spotted a school of dolphins swimming near the shore of the beach. We ended our adventure relaxing and watching the dolphins swim along the shore line. Caleb then asked if I wanted a cookie and then proceeded to hand me one from a bag. He did this all weekend, he would get me candy, fruit, cookies, I never asked for them, he just gave them to me. I don't know where he found them.

Lesson 7: Kids are smarter than we think.

Foo Fighters and forgiveness

There is a famous saying that when it comes to modern music, Elvis opened up our bodies, the Beatles opened up our hearts, and Bob Dylan opened up our minds. As a kid born in the 80s who grew up listening to 90s music I always liked to add that Nirvana opened up our pain. Now Nirvana isn't the first band to sing about pain, but they took rock music to a new place with their honesty and openness. They basically kicked open the door for rock bands to start singing about deeper things then girls and drugs (again, they weren't the first, they merely introduced this new type of honesty to the masses).

Nirvana knew how to cut right to the heart of the hurt. The last song recorded by Nirvana entitled "You know you're right" consists of lead singer Kurt Cobain sarcastically shouting, "things have never been so swell, I have never felt this well" and then screaming "paaaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnn" in a somehow melodic manner as a one word chorus. As I have looked into the life of Cobain, I learned that he was a man of great empathy for others who were hurting (ex: "Polly," "Heart Shaped Box") and a man with great personal pain both physical and mental. Kurt had suffered from a stomach problem that caused him constant physical pain that he tried to treat with heroin which quickly became an addiction. While not a model citizen, Kurt was a voice for generation X, also known as the forgotten generation, or the generation where people seemed jaded and disenchanted and teenagers spoke with sarcastic and oftentimes ironic undertones.

Sadly Kurt's life ended tragically young at the age of 27 (Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison died at the same age) to a self inflicted gun-shot wound to the head. His death shocked the music community and left a wife without a husband and a daughter without a father. We don't know what type of pain Kurt was feeling, or what drove him to the madness of suicide, but at that moment, the pain he expressed in his music became disturbingly real. People began to over analyze his music and read into his lyrics. Kurt was robbed of the ability to mature as an artist; his work would forever be trapped inside the man of a 27 year old while the rest of the world moved on. His death may have even helped solidify his legacy as a music icon because he vanished at the apex of his popularity.

Enter the Foo Fighters. The Foo Fighters are a post Nirvana band fronted by Nirvana's drummer Dave Grohl. It turns out, Dave Grohl is also uber-talented and he wrote some songs on his own. He made an album out of those songs and they were a hit. He then released a few more albums over the following years and the Foo Fighters became a consistently solid rock band. I don't follow the Foo Fighters closely but I am familiar with their hit songs like "Big Me," "Everlong," "Learning to fly," and "Times like these." Something that always seemed to bother Dave Grohl was how often people would ask him about Nirvana, and specifically Kurt. The loss of Kurt likely left a deep wound in Dave's heart and it made it difficult for him to express that pain. Now I am not familiar with the entire catalog of the Foo Fighters, but I am not aware of any songs penned by Dave Grohl that talks about Kurt's death. Until now.

I was talking with Kevin Lee who mentioned to me that a new Foo Fighters album came out so I looked it up online to read about it a bit. I came across this song that most people noted as a standout track. I haven't heard any of the other songs on the album, but this particular song is a great one. It's called "I should have known." and it is likely about Kurt's death. In the song, Dave sings "
I should have known that it would end this way.
I should have known there was no other way.
Didn't hear your warning.
Damn my heart gone deaf

Lay your hands in mine.
Heal me one last time.
Though I cannot forgive you yet.
No, i cannot forgive you yet.
You leave my heart in debt.

I should have known, i was inside of you.
I should have known, there was that side of you.
Came without a warning.
Caught me unaware.
I should have known, i've been here before.
I should have known, don't want it anymore.
One thing is for certain.
I'm still standing here.
I should have known.

This song is straight from the depths of his wounds. It makes for quite a courageous song on the part of the Foo Fighters and extremely personal for Dave. The beauty in this song is the lesson we can learn from it. Dave is singing his frustrations out to Kurt, mainly that he should have shared and confided with him of the pain he was feeling. To the best of my knowledge, Kurt didn't reach out to his band mates, or to his friends. He reached out with his music, but the music could not reach back to him. Dave proclaims that he cannot forgive him yet, and that may be because the pain is too great, or it may be because he is unable to because Kurt is gone. Maybe if they meet again then he could forgive Kurt, but without Kurt being present, Kurt cannot be forgiven by Dave and that leaves Dave with the emptiness of regret.

Regret is a terrible feeling, things happen in life that leave us in pain. Some of them knife deep into our hearts and leave us scarred and broken. Oftentimes it is a friend who has wronged us that causes a rift in the relationship. Relationships can be repaired, but only by forgiveness. My hope is that when we know things are broken, we take steps to repair those relationships. Otherwise we can end up feeling like Dave does here, wanting for things to be better, but powerless to even forgive because the person he wants to forgive is long gone. At the end of Ephesians Ch 4.God says "be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ has forgiven you." Are there people in your life that you need to be kinder to? Are there people in your life that need your forgiveness? Are there people in your life that you need to ask for for forgiveness?